Nothing interesting today. Just finished up my BIG MAJOR proposal and settled some issues with a friend. Feeling kinda great actually. So I went surfing the net and came across some very funny pictures. There's loads of them on the site but I exceptionally like this particular pic!
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Friday, March 11, 2005
I just don't understand!
I'm a person who tends to get too attached to someone and I end up hurting my loved ones and myself. First there was my lenglengs Emily and Clara. They were so close to me at one point of my life, I wanted my parents to take them in as their daughters.
And then came May Yen and May Ching, Julea's two younger sisters. I've accepted them like my own sisters and I love them very much too. For once, I felt like a big brother and it felt good. I swear that if anyone dares to hurt their little hearts, I’ll smash their filthy brains. But that of course, nothing bad had happened yet. Thank God.
For some reasons, I've never really accepted anyone else as my pet sister. A few of them did refer me as their kor but I've never really play that role very well. Until one day, one of them moved down to PJ for college. I've known Radiance since she was at the age of 10. Yes! 10 years old! This cheeky little girl can be quite adorable. Not to mention that she is also a total vain pot :p Since she moved down from Penang, I've been trying to play the role of a big bro again. As usual, I took good care of her, making sure that she settles down comfortably here in PJ. I've also brought her around and introduced her to some of my friends. And that's when the problem came.
At just merely 3 weeks, someone has already express interest on her. I know, this is good news...since this little rascal have been on the available list for quite sometime: P But what I got so worried about is, this is too fast! How can anyone fall for her just after a few weeks?? It's just not possible... or in another word, not 'genuine' at all. Worst is, this guy happens to be a friend. No doubt this guy is a nice person, but I just don't agree in a i see-i like-i fall for her kind of relationship. It's just not feasible! Now I felt like an alien since she's getting quite acquainted with him.
Honestly, I hate this feeling. I hate what I hate. This is not the first time. It happened long time ago with Emily and Clara. And now I have to deal with this kinda feeling all over again with Radiance. Sigh.
I know I'm just being over-protective of her. But I just can't help it. I was never good with expressing myself. So I never did tell her what happened to me. This blog is my desperate attempt to somehow express it. Hopefully it'll help me get thru this faster. And to remind me in the future, never to ever let this happen again.
I'll be fine, I guess. Only time will heal. I just hope that I don't feel alienated from those I cared the most.
